Getting People to Listen to You in Virtual Meetings

Over the last few years, almost everyone working in professional services anywhere in the world has experienced virtual meeting fatigue. Maybe it’s hard to concentrate staring at a screen, the technology is unreliable, or you’re just tired of getting camera-ready for every call. But more frustrating may be that it’s often really hard to speak up in a group and get people to listen to you when you’re meeting virtually. So how do you make yourself heard?

Be confident in what you have to contribute

Remember that there is a reason that you are in the meeting – your background, experience, or role means that you bring value to the conversation. Consider carefully what it is that you want to say and why you are well qualified to add your thoughts and opinions. Then show up and speak up in a way that reflects how you want to be seen in your organization. Be confident in knowing that you are adding important facts, views, or information to the discussion. Avoid starting your comments with phrases like “I’m sorry to raise this . . .” or “Maybe this isn’t relevant but . . .“ Instead, take ownership of what you are saying and draw attention to why the group should listen to you, perhaps by introducing the reason for your remarks. For example: “We saw a related concern with another client which may be helpful here.”

Recognize that a virtual meeting takes more effort

Many people aren’t just tired of virtual meetings, they are also bored and disengaged. They might show this by turning their cameras off, walking away from their computer, or by checking their phones and emails constantly. Unfortunately, in virtual meetings these behaviors have become common.  

Thus, getting a virtual meeting back on track requires work. You might consider asking at the beginning of a meeting if everyone can keep their cameras on so it’s easier to see when someone is trying to speak or showing a non-verbal response like shaking their head. Announcing a clear agenda at the beginning, starting on time, and sticking to the allotted minutes for the meeting can also help. You might also try being upfront about the need for everyone’s engagement, telling them that you know it’s hard being on virtual calls and pointing out that that there will be periodic breaks so people can separately have time to check messages, go to the bathroom or grab a coffee. Use the electronic “hand raise” feature or the chat function to ask questions. Also, be aware of the risk of virtual meeting fatigue, and suggest when it might be more appropriate to leverage other communication methods, such as a quick phone call between a smaller group of participants or emailing to handle certain follow up issues.

Speak up in a way that engages others

No one wants to hear someone in a meeting drone on and on without any concern for what others may want to say or what their reactions may be. Think about ways to get people engaged by how you invite them to listen to your comments and show them that you’ve been listening to them as well. For example: “Tim, that’s a really good point, and I’d like to follow up on that” or “What Angela said a few minutes ago seems important given what we are experiencing on the collections front.” Anytime you reference someone else by name, you invite them into the discussion and remind them that you are paying attention to them. In the same way, asking another colleague to weigh in both forwards your opinion and solicits their opinion: “Colin, can you explain a bit more what you mean? It seems that could be a good solution for us here.” Small gestures like this can help others to see you as collaborative rather than pontificating, and for them to listen more carefully to what you say and how you say it in the future. 

Interrupting (politely) may be necessary

Sometimes, when all else fails, you have to interrupt. Maybe the call is wrapping up quickly without you having a chance to point out a key issue, no one sees you waving your electronic or actual hand on the video screen, or you and someone else are trying to speak simultaneously.  If that happens, find a way to interject professionally and appropriately, e.g., “Jessica, please go ahead and then if I may, I would like to add something.” The difficulties of reading body language or other signals in virtual meetings, especially if people have turned their cameras off or aren’t watching others on screen, may mean the only way to be heard may be to simply say “Can I jump in here?” or “Could I ask a quick question before we end the meeting?” Saying something like that with a positive and friendly tone of voice, rather than sounding annoyed or frustrated at having to interrupt, can help smooth your way into the conversation.

Don’t beat yourself up about miscues 

You understand how to use the chat function, remember to mute/unmute, are dressed appropriately, and are trying your best to participate effectively in the meeting. And yet, you’re nervous. Maybe you are the junior person in the meeting or new to the organization. You might think it’s better to refrain from jumping in and being accused of disrupting the meeting.

But you try and maybe it doesn’t go so well. You might speak up only to have someone else ignore you and keep talking. Or later your boss tells you to be careful with what you say in these types of meetings because people are sensitive about what topics are raised. Even more frustrating may be that you don’t speak up and someone else is praised for making the point that you wanted to bring into the conversation. 

We all run into missteps like this, but they usually aren’t fatal errors. Remind yourself that everyone else is frustrated at times in the world of remote working. Also remember that learning how to work in new environments is a constant challenge in our work lives, whether it’s moving to a different company, getting comfortable with a new supervisor, or adjusting to speaking to a video screen rather than in-person. Talking with a colleague about techniques that work best for them or resetting how you approach virtual meetings in light of what you learned from the last one are some ways to re-set as well.  In short, don’t beat yourself up but instead focus on moving forward and getting ready for the next call.